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Textless Cards Bonanza (11.10.2004)

Considering how outrageously popular the Textless™ Terror card has been, Wizards has decided to make an entire Textless™ set. Terror was one of the first cards chosen to be textless (without its rules text), because everyone already knows what it does. The next obvious choice was to have a textless version of 9th Edition. Every core set since 4th Edition has seen relatively few sales due to its high quantity of useless cards, but Wizards has deemed a textless version of a core set to be the solution. All the 9th Edition cards will be remakes of cards every experienced player already knows about, such as Shock, Counterspell, Slithering Serpent, and Henge of Ramos. The text for cards like these is unnecessary for any experienced player.


Considering that Textless™ Terrors are selling for over $10 and Textless™ Fireball has sold for over $70, Wizards has decided that each pack of Textless™ cards will have a retail value of $150.

The best part about Textless™ cards is that the image is so big that you can finally see parts of the images that you've never seen before. The new picture of Wrath of God is actually the original version. The one you saw before was altered to fit the image area. Now you can see who God really is.

To boost sales even more Wizards will finally reveal many uncensored card images never seen before. Unfortunately only Europe and a few other countries will have card images that actually contain nudity. Many fans eagerly await full frontals of Serra Angel, Elvish Ranger, and Keeper of the Mind. The uncensored version of Serra Angel is already being presold on ebay for up to $200 dollars.




Last Month: Butterfly Effect 6/306 (November 2004)
Next Month: Human Replica 8/306 (December 2004)

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Starting today, I will give out one printout of the Butterfly Effect card to the first nine people who use buy it now to get cards at the Magic Deck.

Printouts will be a high-resolution image pasted on a Magic card. These are made to parody Magic cards and are in no way made to trick people.

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The cards on this website are fake. If you give any fake cards away make sure that it is clear that the card is fake.

The fake cards are for educational and entertainment purposes only. These cards are not legal for tournament play. Magic: The Gathering and its mana symbols are © 1993-2003 Wizards of the Coast, Inc., a subsidiary of Hasbro, Inc. This site and all its contents is not in any way affiliated with or endorsed by Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro. These are two mighty fine companies with many very nice people working for them.

Lord of the Rings is by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Two of the Greatest Lord of the Rings artists, John Howe and Ted Nasmith, were nice enough to give me permission to use their artwork for my website. Many of their Images can be found at Tolkien Online.